TBO and I have been and paid a deposit on our wedding venue today. Makes it kinda real.
I'm alternating between "YAY" and "EEEEEK".
But then again, I'm generally undecided at the moment.
Pain levels and spoons fluctuate daily. One day I'm almost thinking I could start going back to work, the next day I need to be helped out of bed and can't go further than the sofa.
I keep thinking about possibly doing a college course, or re-starting my OU studies. But then the next day my brain's too foggy to even read a magazine.
I know I need to lose more weight. Mainly because I've got a wedding dress to get into, and because, actually, despite me getting into a size 14 (from a 24 at the start of last year), my BMI still has me down as obese! But then I'll find myself eating everything under the sun and wondering why I'm putting weight on again (and spending a fiver a week to find out!)
One thing I do know, though, is that I love TBO and cannot wait to be his wife. I can't wait until it's just "us against the world".
And I'm not mentioning the fact that that itself scares me. Being married equals being responsible, in my head. I'm not sure I'm grown up enough for that!
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